
Interview by the Jeff Penalty
You know the name. You know the attitude. It doesn't get any fiercer than Napalm fucking Death, does it? But everyone is some mother's son, and everybody poops-even if he or she is a member of one of the first and most influential grindcore bands in the history of music. So when I had the chance to do an e-mail interview with Napalm Death bassist Shane Embury, I took the opportunity to shed some light on his human side. And it went splendidly! See for yourself....
SKRATCH: Do you ever cry at movies? What's the last one that made you cry? (Be honest.)
SHANE: I cry a little, yeah. Sometimes it can be the movie, or sometimes you are just going thru an emotional patch in your life. The last movie [that put] a tear in my eye was BIG FISH.
SKRATCH: What was the name of your most cherished stuffed animal as a child? What made it so special?
SHANE: You know, I can't recall having a stuffed animal as a kid. I know that kind of sounds weird, but I was watching late-night horror movies and DOCTOR WHO at four years old. Thinking about it now, there was a bear I recall...but god knows what I called him.
SKRATCH: You recently released an album of cover songs. If the band had to cover the entire soundtrack to a musical, which one would you pick? Would you stay faithful to the original arrangements, or would you metal it up?
SHANE: For me it would probably be OLIVER!, the 1960s musical based on the Charles Dickens novel. Why? Because it was a big part of my culture growing up, and I think there's some neat arrangements. We would definitely make it more intense, try out some different vocal parts, but it would be cool to keep some of the orchestration. That would be a challenge.
SKRATCH: What is your favorite breakfast cereal?
SHANE: Frosted Flakes. I love 'em. I used to eat a whole box [at a time] as a kid. (Maybe that has something to do with my portly figure.) I have calmed down since-but they rule!
SKRATCH: If you had to get a tattoo of either Tinky Winky or Barney the Dinosaur, which one would you pick?
SHANE: Probably Tinky Winky, as I am sure Barney [Greenway, vocalist] would have the dinosaur, and it would suck [for us] to have the same tattoo.
SKRATCH: If you had to describe yourself as one of the children on Willy Wonka's factory tour, which one would you be?
SHANE: Augustus Gloop. Yeah, I am greedy, and have a soft spot for German bratwurst. And hey, I would get to have a swim in a chocolate river! Awesome!
SKRATCH: Do you have any phobias? Where do you think they might come from? What happens to you if you're forced to confront that of which you are afraid?
SHANE: I hate rats; can't stand them. This, I think, originally came from reading THE RATS trilogy by James Herbert. If I see one, I run a mile. We played a show at the 9:30 Club in Washington, and they had some big fuckers there, I can tell you.
SKRATCH: Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? What was your favorite ride? What else do you remember from the visit?
SHANE: Actually, [I] just went to Disney Sea in Tokyo. They only have it there I was told, and [I] have only been to Disney World in Tokyo. My favorite ride would be Splash Mountain. When I went it was hot as hell, so I jumped on that ride about four times in a row. Space Mountain was cool, as well. What else do I remember? Spent the entire day looking for Mickey and couldn't find him. Bummed!
SKRATCH: Do you use fabric softener in your laundry? What brand?
SHANE: Laundry...what's that? I let it accumulate and take it to my mom's. She does a better job than me. I don't know what fabric conditioner she uses.
SKRATCH: Have you ever done something stupid just to make a child laugh?
SHANE: Not really. They tend to laugh when they see me, anyway...or cry. Depends on the child. Must be the hair.
SKRATCH: Have you read any of the HARRY POTTER books? Which one is your favorite?
SHANE: I have read them all. I think THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX was a good one. I like how the author has moved the story into darker territory and also that she killed off a main character. That's sometimes hard to do in a children's book. I think it would be a tough move, [as it] kind of leaves Harry alone again and you know there [are] darker times ahead.
SKRATCH: What is your favorite brand and flavor of bubblegum? of ice cream?
SHANE: Over in the U.K. they have Orbit spearmint flavor. I like that. My favorite ice-cream flavor is vanilla.
SKRATCH: Do you have any pets? Do you ever talk to them? What do you say? Do you say it in a "silly" voice?
SHANE: My mom has a dog named Cassie. She is the friendliest dog ever. I say all kinds of stupid shit to her. She likes her squeezy toys that make noise, so we are always playing with them. I have this LORD OF THE RINGS Gollum voice I do, which drives her nuts.
SKRATCH: Have you ever dressed up as Santa Claus for any reason?
SHANE: Nope, can't say as I have-though I have thought of playing on stage like Santa sometimes when we play a show near to Xmas.
SKRATCH: What's cooler and why: a model train set or a fort built out of couch cushions?
SHANE: Never cared for model trains, really: too close to the real world for me. I would go for the fort made out of cushions, as it requires imagination to build and would turn out different every time. [It would be] a good way of hiding away from everything from time to time [while] feeling secure. I like to feel like that sometimes: isolated but secure.
You see? Humanity. We all like to feel secure in our couch cushion forts sometimes, don't we? So, remember: if you feel like crying, rent BIG FISH; if you feel like singing, watch OLIVER!; and if you feel like pummeling someone's face in until your fists are coated with blood and teeth, pick up Napalm Death's new album, THE CODE IS RED...LONG LIVE THE CODE. Until next time, hugs and kisses, everyone!